Date safer, smarter.

Before the first date

Most dating safety advice is generic and useless when you actually need it. This page is the opposite — specific scripts and steps for the moments where it matters.

Do the in-app video call

Twenty minutes. No phone numbers shared. It catches catfish and gives you a sense of whether you want to spend an evening with this person. Anyone unwilling to do this before a first date is telling you something.

Look them up — but not too hard

A quick search for their first name + city is fair game. Recognizing them in a friend's Instagram tag is normal. Spending two hours reading every comment they've ever made on Reddit is the start of a problem you'll regret.

Tell a friend

Share the time, place, and the person's first name + photo with one friend. Set up a check-in text for 30 minutes into the date. We do this automatically inside the app, but a real human in your corner is always good too.

At the date

Pick a public place

Coffee, a casual lunch, a walk in a busy area, a small wine bar. Avoid private homes for the first meeting. Avoid anywhere too far from a transit stop you know.

Arrange your own transportation

Get yourself there. Get yourself home. Don't rely on them for either.

Pace your drinking

If you drink, slowly. Never leave your glass unattended. If you order something new and it tastes wrong, leave the drink.

Trust your instincts

If something feels off — leave. You don't owe them an explanation. You don't need to be polite. "I have to go" is a complete sentence. We support you walking out at any point.

Specific situations

If they bring up money

Hard stop. Don't engage. Investments, urgent emergencies, crypto, loans, gifts — any of it. Report and block. Real connections don't ask for money.

If they push for personal info

Address, workplace, exact neighborhood, social security number, banking details, anything similar. You don't owe anyone this information on a first date. "Maybe later" is a fine answer.

If they get aggressive

Make a scene if you need to. Tell the staff. Most restaurants and bars have protocols. Codewords like "Angela" (UK), or asking for "Angel" or "a banana wine" (varies by venue) can signal you need help discreetly — ask staff if you're somewhere you trust.

If you've been harmed

Get safe first. Contact local authorities. Then, when you're ready, contact us at [email protected] so we can take action on the other person's account and preserve any relevant evidence for legal process.

After the date

Ninety minutes after a scheduled date, you'll get an in-app check-in. Honest answers help us keep the community safe — if a venue felt unsafe, if the person was different from their profile, if anything happened. We never share with the other person whether or how you responded.

If you don't reply within four hours, we follow up. We never escalate to outside parties without your consent unless there's an immediate safety concern.

Resources

Beyond LoverSpot:

• RAINN (US): 1-800-656-HOPE — sexual assault support
• UK National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247
• Hollaback! — bystander training and support
• Local equivalents — we maintain a list at help center